dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize