can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
