just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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