i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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