Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
