so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
