It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I am midnight drunk by noon
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize