One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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