She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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