I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
