why didn't you poke me back
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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