just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
