Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
