Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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