toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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