The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
