but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
