I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
