Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
