She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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