Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
