Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I have post one night stand depression
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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