yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
