he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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