once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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