Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
