if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
