Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
