yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
