Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
