I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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