Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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