Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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