I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
