I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
