I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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