try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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