You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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