I just saw a hot homeless man
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
