We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
