omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
