Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
