You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
