Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
