I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
