I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
