soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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