i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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