I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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