So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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