Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
