so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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