ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
