I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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